In 2014, Gaelic football star Cathal McCarron agreed to appear in gay porn in a desperate attempt to pay off his debts after years of battling his chronic gambling addiction.
The 28-year-old, who has made significant strides in his recovery, is addressing the incident directly in his new memoir Out Of Control.
“The company was based in a fancy office block in north London and looked like a legit model agency. It didn’t take me long to discover it was something more,” explains McCarron, who identifies as straight, in a new interview with The Irish News.
“They were a porn company. They enquired if I’d be interested in some work,” he said, explaiining that he had responded to a newspaper ad looking for ‘male models’.
“The money was an obvious appeal, but the risk was still too great. They sold it to me on the basis that they only dealt with US hotels, where the porn was exclusive to the hotels’ pay-per-view channels.”
“Anyone in their right mind knows that uploaded material can appear anywhere, but I wasn’t in my right mind. I accepted the offer of some work.”
McCarron said he was initially paid £200 to be filmed urinating. He was then offered £3,000 in cash to appear in gay porn.
“As we had sexual intercourse, I did everything to suppress my real emotions, to dislocate myself from the moment. All I was thinking about was the money I was going to receive afterwards.”
“The only reality guiding me at the time was the desperation to feed my gambling habit,” he said.
“When the filming was over I felt physically sick, disgusted that I had allowed myself to sink into such an abyss of degradation and humiliation.
“As soon as I was handed a brown envelope with £3,000, that feeling began to dissipate. I walked across the road into a betting office and gambled away half of my earnings.”
Two days later, McCarron says he had spent all of the money.
When his gay porn scene went viral, McCarron said he considered suicide or travelling to Mexico.
“I had sold my body. I had blackened my soul. All for just two days gambling,” he said.
McCarron entered rehab in Ireland and triumphantly returned to Gaelic Football. He was recently nominated for an All-Star in 2015.
“Some people will continue to form the same opinion of you. A lot of them still think I’m gay,” he confessed.
“Every day, I still get online approaches, or some form of social media connectivity, from the gay community.”
“Some gay men seem to look upon me as a kind of gay icon. That’s how I was tagged on some LGBT community websites and discussion boards.”
“The last thing I am is gay, but I’ll take those comments above vile, vitriolic, homophobic and personal abuse any day of the week,” he adds.
“I completely respect the lesbian and gay community, because I really appreciated their messages of support when so many others wanted to bury me.”
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